The Age of Aquarius

 I'm finding age to be a funny thing in this business, one that manages to both worry and comfort me at the exact same time. 

 On the one hand you have the west end casting of Les Miserables, they cast young. Sierra Boggess mentioned that she was old at 29. It panics me that starting at 23 will mean I'll never achieve my dream of playing Eponine. But then if we hop across the pond to the Broadway production of the same show we see one of the best Eponines, Celia Keenan-Bolger, playing her at 28. One year older and she would be considered almost too old to play Fantine, who is older than Eponine! 

 It's confusing, as I said on one hand I'm comforted by the fact I still have five years left before being too old on Broadway, but in England (where I'm currently stuck) I'm pretty much past my prime.

 In fact, it seems to be a running trend that actors can still get a break later on in their lives on the great white way. Norbert Leo Butz, 29 when he got his big Broadway break. 

 Then again, I could once again turn the tables and confuse matters more by bringing up people like Jennifer Damiano, she is only 21 and already has three big broadway shows under her belt! Or my favourite Aaron Tveit who landed his role in Wicked at 23.

 I'm hoping you can see where my confusion comes from. I know there's the whole 'don't compare yourself to others' thing but when it comes to casting ages I can't help it. Especially when it's concerning my ultimate dream role.

 I have managed to stop obsessing over it all, I've accepted the fact I will never be a child prodigy like Miss. Damiano but maybe, just maybe I can still play the street waif I so long to be. Hopefully when I get the opportunity I won't be considered too old!

 It's such a funny thing to talk to 'real' people about. At 23 years old you are considered young, at the beginning of your journey with your entire life ahead of you. In the acting world you're old to be starting. I don't really have anything philosophical to say about this fact. It's just something I've found interesting... and stressful!

The only thing I have learnt is to keep going, keep learning, keep growing and when an opportunity comes along grab it with both hands and don't let go. I'm hoping that someday soon someone will take a chance on an unknown and I will be one step closer to those grubby street clothes!

Wish me luck, the same to you.

Annabelle

xoxo

Catch Me I'm Falling

 Another day, another rejection. I didn't get the one from Sunday and, yes, I'm hugely disappointed.

"What did I do wrong? Why didn't they like me?" 

I'm okay at dealing with rejection, but every now and again (usually after a couple of them in a row) I get those horrible voices that pop up in the back of my mind.

 You're not good enough, you can't even get a supporting role in regional theatre what makes you think you can become a professional? You're 23 years old, that's too old to just be starting you should already be there. And then a list of people I admire and where they were at my age. (Aaron Tveit was already on Broadway in Hairspray no less, Sam Barks was in the Les Miserables movie! And you are sat on your behind at your parents... keep dreaming.)

 It's probably safe to say the reason I can deal with rejection and criticism well is due to the fact they will never be as harsh as my own mind. It all starts with one thought then my brain grabs onto that and runs with it, going around and around in circles until we're back at square one and curled into a ball of self loathing and tears.

 It used to cripple me, but I've got a lot better. I still think that way, I think we all do at some point, but I know not to let it affect me so much. So what those people were at so and so by my age, they're not me, they haven't been through my journey. When the time is right for you it will happen.

So I will keep being as prepared as possible for each and every audition and try my hardest to keep those voices at bay. I mean 23 isn't too old, right? In the eyes of everyone outside the theatre community I'm young! I just need to keep telling myself that.

 Wish me luck, the same to you.

Annabelle

xoxo